I Am Simply Lost

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I find myself just wondering. I think," How is it possible that it was all an act he played out? He had to love me, right? Did he? Why was I not even worth an effort, when I gave him chance after chance, forgave him every time he disappeared for days, for every time he nodded out and called me crazy for saying he was high...i forgave him for everything, yet I am the unforgivable."
I don't want this heart anymore. I don't want to love so deeply, i mean, "You feel too deep Mell, you're just too much!".... I am toxic to the touch anyway...right?

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