Rainbow Bridge

Oh dear God, please lift this suffering off my heart. I cry out to you Father...please have mercy, this grief is too much to bear any longer! I lose Jj (the last breathing piece of the man I gave my heart to) on Tuesday. That was never meant to be MY decision, and I am fully aware that Nathan will stick out his chest and bark at everyone within ear shot how I killed HIS dog!"... I just lost my Po not long ago and he puts the care, clean up, vet bills, medicine bills, and the utter suffering I see that little dog go through every fucking day, all on my shoulders! I begged him to just come see Jj, he refuses. Can you imagine how Jj feels, losing his daddy, dying without his daddy holding him, telling him what a good boy he has been?....it is twisting what little bit of broken heart I have left into a knot of desperation. But that's not the worst...all at the same time that Jj is slipping away, Brody is too, just as fast...to be honest, I don't think Brody will make it through the night tonight. He is way past reach of mortality. His eyes spoke and he has began the whine, the "death call" dogs make as they are on the way to the next place. The night my Harpo let out his, I let him go, I let him go....I LET HIM GO! If I can let my Po go, the best friend of my life, my kindred.... WHY CAN'T I LET YOU GO!?!? You ruined me completely, leveled me to the lowest, You broke sacred parts of my soul....I WANT TO LET YOU THE FUCK GO!!!! I hope whoever she is, I hope she's worth it, because a soulless, evil man as you does not deserve such an unconditional, forgiving heart as mine.