How Long They Choose You...

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I figured out the hard way that how long someone chooses to love you will never be up to you. But I wonder now if he ever even loved me at all? I mean, he didn't even try, it was always ME fighting for US alone. How many lies I forgave, that relapse he had that led to my own that killed me stone on the floor, that car, the court money he told me he would pay back if I helped him get kratom (which he spent on heroin instead), he almost got me locked up, I took the main charge for him, him taking off for days, putting me nowhere on his priority list, how I stuck by him through jail, rehab, relapse, EVERYTHING! I kept trying! Even after he left and left me alone in the dark, I kept trying....but I was fighting for a love I thought actually existed in the both of us...he didn't love me. He never did. I wasn't worth fighting for. I never have been. If I had my choice, I would ALWAYS choose HIM....it has always been him. But for him, it has nor ever will be...me.

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