HATE

I believe that the word HATE is on the short list of the strongest, most powerful and recklessly used words in humanity's language. It gets thrown around so casually that no one really knows it's true power, it's has become a idiotic statement to describe much lesser words like Dislike, Frustration and Disapproval. Coming from a long life of malice, destruction and violence, even I respected it's rooted meaning, and I have only used it twice in my life. I respect the power behind that word, HATE. The first time I said it, I didn't mean it, and I tried to catch it as it slipped through my teeth so not to let it metastasis in the air, but it refused to be contained. IMMEDIATELY I began apologizing, but it did it's damage to the man I directed it at, the love of my life. He was using again, lying about everything and calling my crazy for confronting him, this was hurt and frustration, and I put the lable Hate on it stupidly. The second time I used it, I MEANT IT! I'm 42 and never used it with such adamant conviction until a few days ago...I HATE THAT SAME MAN I TOLD IT TO THE FIRST TIME I DIDN'T EVEN MEAN IT, BUT I MEAN IT TODAY! I know the consequence for using it and one day I will repent and asked forgiveness for it, but for the first time in my life I HATE someone. The details as to why I hate him run sooooo long and sooooo deep that to talk them out would prove very dangerous, so that must be done in a safe place with my therapist. But I will say this, my first husband beat me on a weekly basis for 10 years, sent me to the hospital 6 times for attempts on my life, and abandoned his son after throwing him at age 4 across the room into a glass display case....And I never hated him...

Imagine what Nathan Wright has done to me that was more evil than what my first husband did to make me gutteraly HATE HIM! And I do, I mean it in every curve of my tongue as I speak it into existence...

I HATE YOU NATHAN WRIGHT!